Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
