i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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