i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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