Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
