Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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