No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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