i think my tv is drunk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
