he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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