i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
