I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
