I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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