did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
