I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Mom said you looked used
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
