I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
