you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
