I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he thought i was a dude.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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