small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
