And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
