my room smells like sperm. sweet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize