four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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