Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
