I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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