i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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