Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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