Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Shame - the story of my life.
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