You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
