So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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