She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm at about main and main street
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
