I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
