Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
