I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
