hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
