I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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