i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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