WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
