you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
