She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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