i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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