You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
