Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
