It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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