I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She told me I should be a condom model.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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