You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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