I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
