what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
