i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
