she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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