if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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