I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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