I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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