I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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