problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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